*****
A young American man went to study philosophy in Germany. He met a very
famous professor in philosophy and asked him:
- Dear Professor, do you have a short course in philosophy? I would like to
graduate in 6 months.
The professor thought for a while and then answered:
- We have a short course in philosophy but you have to know that it takes
6 months for the nature to create a pumpkin and 100 years to create a ...
*****
A very simple shepard used to live on an isolated island. He was praying
to God all the time in his own way: putting his stick to the ground and
jumping over it. When he jumped at the one side, he would say:
- God, I do this for you.
When he was on the other side, he said the same words. This was
his sacred prayer. One day by some surprise, a boat stopped by.
An archbishop went on the island to see why this man was jumping
over his stick.
- What are you doing, brother?
- I pray to God.
- You don't have to pray this way. I will teach you a prayer. He started
teaching him the "Our Father" prayer. The archbishop started reading
and the shepard was repeating after him. After he was sure the shepard
has learnt the prayer, the archbishop headed for his boat. Soon he took
off the shore. After the shepard found himself alone, he started repeating
the prayer but became sad because he realized he had forgotten it. He
rushed to the sea right away. Soon the archbishop heard someone calling
him and then he saw the shepard walking on the waters.
- What do you want, brother?
- Saintly Father, I forgot the prayer, please help me.
- Go back to your island and continue with your prayer. I cannot do what
you can.
*****
At a meeting where different philosophical subjects were discussed,
an old silent man was present. Everyone of the present people expressed
their opinions. This man kept silent the whole time. The meeting was
over and everyone went home. On his way back, this man was walking
with a friend from the meeting.
- Why didn't you say anything on all the issues discussed? - asked the friend.
- I cannot say anything, I don't know anything about philosophy. I know only
one thing. He took a stone in his hand and squeezed it. Water started running
from it and fire was on the top of it.
*****
A donkey was talking to a branded horse:
- Do you know how many icons of Christ I have carried on my back? - and
shook its head proudly.
- As I can see, you did not become a saint - answered the horse - rather
remained a donkey...
*****
A scientist went into the boat of a sailor to go on a sea trip. Then he
asked the sailor:
- Do you know any mathematics? - No, I don't - You have missed a lot.
- Do you know any astronomy? - No, I don't - You have missed a lot.
- Do you know any natural sciences? - No, I don't - You have missed a lot.
At this time, there came a big storm in the sea.
Then the sailor turned to the scientist with the words:
- Do you know how to swim?
- No, I don't know.
- Then you have missed everything. With my ignorance I will keep my life -
the most precious to man - and with your knowledge you will lose everything.
Most of the people know everything but one thing - to swim in life.
*****
A disciple went to a great Master to ask him what love is. The Master was
silent but the disciple was persistent. He had been visisting the Master for
10 years with the very same question, waiting for an answer. When he came
for eleventh time, the Master who was strong and healthy, took him to the
river of Ganges and pushed his body under the water. The disciple started
drowning, with no air he started kicking until the Master took him out of
the water.
- What did you feel while you were under the water?
- I felt I was suffocating, losing consciousness; I was going away - there
was no air there.
The Master replied then:
- When you find yourself in life under the same circumstances, then
you will know what love is.
*****
The spiders heard that the elephant will walk through their kingdom and
they all agreed to stop him before he does that. They decided to make a
net to put on his way. All the spiders came together and started making
the net. They worked nights and days and when it was ready, the elephant
came. He passed through it. Then they asked him what he felt. He shook
his tail and told them he felt nothing.
*****
A rich American man passed away and headed for Heaven. At the
Heaven's gate he saw St. Peter who asked him:
- Where are you going?
- I am going to Heaven. While I was on Earth, I did a lot of good
things for which I deserve to be in Heaven.
- What good things did you do?
- I built a church.
- What did you get for this?
- All the newpapers wrote about me.
- You have been rewarded for it. What else?
- I built a school.
- What did you get for this?
- They named the school after me.
- You have been rewarded for it. What else?
- I helped different organizations which made me their member.
- You have been rewarded for it. Tell us of a good thing you did and
no one knows of it.
The American thought for a while and then said:
- Some years ago I was going to work, I was in a hurry and a widow
stopped me to ask for money. At the end, in order to get rid of her,
I gave her a dollar.
St. Peter said:
- This is another story, I will ask God what to do.
Then he went to God and told him the whole story. Finally God said:
- Give him 2 dollars and send him back to Earth.
*****
- Dad, I caught a rascal - a young Turk told his father.
- Bring him here to me.
- I can't - answered the son.
- Why?
- He doesn't lose hold of me.
*****
A famous artist made a beautiful portrait. A shoemaker went to the
exhibition to see that portrait. As he was looking at the portrait, he
found a little mistake in the way the shoes were drawn. Then he told
the artist about it.
The artist took his brush and instantly changed it. The shoemaker
saw a little window for remarks and started making others, too - about
the nose, the mouth, etc. But the artist told him right away:
- You can only make remarks about the shoes because you are a
good shoemaker. But as for the other parts of my portrait, your
remarks have no value.
*****
Four people belonging to four different nations - a French, an Englishman,
a German and a Russian gathered in a big European restaurant. As they
had a lunch together, some noise was there in the air.
The French stood up right away and went to take a newspaper to check
out what they say there about this noise.
The German put his cloths on and went to ask the scientists what they
have to say about it.
The Englishman took his binocular out and stared in the air with it.
The Russian laid on his back and said: - Those are eagles!
Here we can see four different nations with four different reactions towards
the same thing.
*****
During the Turkish yoke, one of the Turkish leaders came to a village.
The peasents met him with love and generosity. To thank them, he sent
a big elephant as a present to them. For a whole year, the peasants fed
him well but the village started getting poorer since every day they had
to give 50-60 kg of rice to the elephant. They were wondering what to
do with it.
One day, the Turkish leader met a peasant from the same village and
asked him:
- Are you happy with my elephant?
-Yes, we are.
- Do you take a good care of him?
- Yes, we do.
- If you want, I can give you another one.
After hearing those words, the peasant got scared and run away.
*****
A Bulgarian man suffered because his wife was very stubborn. Whatever
he told her to do, she would do exactly the opposite. One day, she was
taking some water off the well and he told her:
- Be careful not to fall down.
She threw herself in on purpose and never got out of it. The man started
weeping because she had left him alone with several kids that they had
together. In half an hour, the man saw a devil going out of the well, all
turned in white.
- Where are you going? Why are you running?
- Oh, half an hour ago, a woman fell into the well and she did many bad
things to me - my hair turned white.
*****
Three young men fell in love with a beautiful and smart girl. Each one
of them wanted to marry her. In order to test their love, the girl made
a fence from paper which looked like iron and put three knives in it. The
candidates had to pass through it with a bycicle. Whoever did it would
have the girl as his wife.
The first one came but when he saw the knives, he stepped back and said:
- I don't want to die.
The second candidate came to the fence and saw the three knives. Then
thought to himself:
- What would I get from the girl if I do that?
He also stepped back.
The third candidate went through the fence without thinking at all. Then
everyone saw that the fence and the knives were made of paper. The two
unsuccessful candidates said:
- We could have done this either.
Be bold and decisive.
*****
Some senturies ago, a philosopher named Ku lived in China. His wife was
beautiful and good. They were poor but honest people.
One day the wife came to him and told him:
- We lived together for 10 years. We had a good life because you are a
good man. But I am tired of the poverty. I want to live a rich life without
thinking about tomorrow. Today I met a rich businessman and I could
marry him if you let me go.
The philosopher saw her sincerety and let her go.
She went to the rich man happy. At this time, China went through a big
political crises. The people wanted to choose a new leader. As a smart
and sincere man, the philosopher was chosen for this position. After
learning about that, his former wife came to him.
- I did a great mistake to leave you. Please forgive me and let's get
together again to live a peaceful and happy life.
The philosopher looked at her and then took a cup which he filled with
a nectar and then he spilled it on the floor. Then he told her:
- If you can take the nectar from the floor as pure as it was in the glass,
then we will be able to get and live together a peaceful and happy life.
